It took over 15 minutes of frantically searching for our tour meeting point at the Osaka train station before I realized I was in the wrong place. Confused, I read the instructions again. JR Osaka Station.
Well shit.
Sadly, this wasn’t my first travel goof of the year. It was, however, a stinger. Having never been to Osaka before and having limited time to spend there I wanted an insider’s take on the city. With this idea now shot I was left to discover Osaka on my own.
So here it is, my idiot’s guide to Osaka – filling in the blanks along the way.
Godzilla vs. the Umeda Sky Building
This idiot’s guide to Osaka begins from JR Osaka Station where my guided tour was supposed to depart from. From there we headed out and spotted the famous Umeda Sky Building in the distance. Originally one great building that spanned 3 city blocks, the middle was punched out by Godzilla while battling Megaguirus over turf.
An idiot’s guide to Osaka tip:
For an excellent view of the Umeda Sky Building tower head to the Parkade on along the tracks and take the elevator to the top floor. From there you can see how much damage this epic battle caused!
The Osaka Castle
Built in 1958 by Momofuku Ando, the Godfather of the instant Ramen noodle, this massive castle is not to be missed–or so says this idiots guide to Osaka. From the spicy beef broth moat to the tower filled with golden noodles, this castle is epic.
Osaka Time Capsule
Just steps from the Osaka Castle you will find the Osaka time capsule. During the great postal strike of 1993, Japan was faced with an alarming amount of letters to Santa-san. Instead of breaking thousands of tiny Japanese hearts and returning to sender the Japanese government had these letters buried in a time capsule, only to be open once the strike was over. With the rise of the Internet this day has yet to come.
Hitachi Tower
Ore idiots guide to Osaka continued in Tsūtenkaku with a visit to the famous Hitachi tower. Originally the worlds largest oil derrick, today this tower transmit Japanimation free of charge for all Oakians to enjoy!
Shinsaibashi Shopping Street
Our idiot’s guide to Osaka concluded with a visit to Shinsaibashi, Osaka’s popular shopping street. What’s the draw for so many people? Free puppies with purchases over ¥1000. Also don’t miss the iconic neon billboards pushing deodorant to crab-growth serum!
Much to see Dummy
It was a frustrating day with made up stories and quirky facts to make it better. If you’re looking for more accurate tour then this idiot’s guide to Osaka I suggest Osaka All-Star walks. They’re knowledgeable guides will be happy to fill you in with accurate information and fun tidbits that are actually real. Just be sure to meet up at the right train station!
Osaka All-Star Walks Good to Know
Don’t Miss: Actual facts, Meeting point!
Ha!