A Bit of Class

I‘m usually the last one to board an aeroplane. As odd as it sounds, I do not enjoy lineups.

When a flight is being boarded people rush to line up at the counter where they wait. There is always that one passenger who just can’t seem to find his/her ticket amongst the numerous packages and bags they are carrying. After that hurdle, you are lined up in the walkway to the plane where you wait again, usually because that same bumbling person has dropped a bag and is now frantically stuffing cheap souvenirs and Mentos mints back into it. Once on the plane, you wait some more. This time because other passengers struggle with seat assignments (letters and numbers are hard) and our same friend is now cramming his/her belongings into an already full overhead compartment – crushing the very same snow globe they had delicately tossed back into their bag moments ago. Once at your aisle you find a confused person (usually old, doesn’t speak English, or both) in your seat. After several erratic hand gestures and 3 interpreters, you get into your seat where you wait for other passengers who are going through the same cycle of painful events you just experienced. You wait in the same seat that you will be sitting in for the duration of the flight where you will jockey for elbow position, usually with the same passenger that held you up who is now spilling over their seat and uncomfortably into yours. Then that person offers you Mentos which somehow makes things worse.

Yes, I am usually the last person to board a plane, but not today.

You know that look you get from the first-class passengers as you shuffle past them so you can join the rest of the cattle in coach? That look from their over sized-pillow-fluffed chairs? That look you receive from the dry end of a pre-flight cocktail? Its a look that makes you feel ashamed and angry. Its a look that says one thing and one thing only, I’m better than you.

Well today my friends, I am better than you. I wanted to be the first person on that plane so I could be on the other end of that look for once. I boarded that plane even prior to mothers carrying several baby bags and several babies. So you will understand my disappointment when I boarded and turned left to a separate first-class section – segregated so as to not be bothered by the simple folk.

Nuts.

Mark my words, I will have my day looking down my nose at you. Till then all I can do is stretch out and try to enjoy my quiche.